Shoot Hockey Marsh Vrooms

I have recently added to the list of skit ideas, a skit where Dracula meets his match by trying to scare and attack a speech therapist. 

When Dracula initiates his evil plan, the therapist shouts, "Shiitake mushrooms!" It is a phrase the therapist usually uses when in front of children, instead of cursing.

Dracula thought the response was hilarious...he'd never heard that one before. Laughing, he responded, "Ah ah sayed shoot hockey marsh vrooms!"

The therapist instantly forgets being scared and is thrown by Dracula's response. He's somehow offended, and replies, "I most certainly did not say shoot hockey marsh vrooms!"

"Yes you did...I haird sayed, shoot hockey marsh vrooms! Ah ah ahhhh!"

"Uh noooo! I didn't"

Dracula is about to give the evil eye to the man, but the man continued.

"I said, shiitake mushrooms," then repeated phonetically, "She tahkey mush rooms!"

"That's vat I sayed...shoot hockey marsh vrooms!"

"Repeat after me...She..."


"No, no...she..."








Grimacing at 'vrooms', "Closer, now put it all together. She-tahkey Mush-rooms."

"Shoee-t-hockey muuushh vrooms...Shoeethockey mushvrooms...I like dat. What is your name Mr. Shoeethockey mushvrooms guy?"

"My name is Harold, Harold Heifenweisen."

"Ah ah...Hair-hold Heifer-wise-man."

"Oh hell noooooo...repeat after me..."