To Ethan Whipp - “‘Caws’ he ain’t good’n-uff!"...from his father, Albert Cornelius Whipp
Just Cause (Caws)
Albert Cornelius Whipp
The unknowing captain
Of every fool’s ship
In southern twang
With backwoods slang
Always quick to quip
How it was God, not he
That had failed to equip
His son Ethan with the ability
To do anything
That would ever be
Of value to society
And he’d list the reasons 1 … 2 … 3
Always list the reasons 1 … 2 … 3
And when he would, with drunken drawl
The echoes of the old crow’s call
Resembling that of pesky birds
As he shouted these empty words
“‘Cause he’s lazy …
‘Cause he’s stupid…
‘Cause his glasses are too thick …
‘Cause he’s crazy …
Caws he’s fat …
Caws his ass is always sick”
In Ethan’s head, over time
An insanity defense of self would grow
To ward off those pesky birds
Regain some semblance of self-control
Though only built of mental straw
His very own built-in scarecrow
With its very own thoughts on tending law
In defense against impending caw
And he’d list the reasons 1 … 2 … 3
Always list the reasons 1 … 2 … 3
And when he would, with drunken drawl
The echoes of the old crow’s call
Resembling that of pesky birds
As he shouted these empty words
“‘Cause he’s lazy …
‘Cause he’s stupid…
‘Cause his glasses are too thick …
‘Cause he’s crazy …
Caws he’s fat …
Caws his ass is always sick”
Ethan Albert Whipp
With growing strength of scarecrow’s grip
Though only made of mental straw
It is through its eyes he finally saw
A way to stop the incessant caws
That amply provided him with “Just Cause”
To rewrite and enforce new self-defense laws
And so his travels have begun
His sanity unravels, comes undone
A path of victims starts with one
Like destinations plotted on a map
And for his first, it’ll be a short trip
Caws he don’t need to travel far
To kill the captain of every fool’s ship
To go back home, he turns the car
To kill Captain Albert Cornelius Whipp
